Sea Shanty Birates Unite

cyrodiil-burns:

caesarsaladinn:

we don’t even see the irony

(via soundslikeyouneedetchasmoved)

lmaonade:

shout out to all gamer girls. i hope you rank up in whatever the fuck 

(via strange-aeons)

crazy-pages:

official-lucifers-child:

brunhiddensmusings:

jimmyfury:

grumpysgains:

cattarmerang:

pedro-martines:

pregnantseinfeld:

a-treus:

papasmoke:

papasmoke:

Losing my mind remembering that pic chelsea manning posted of the extremely undercover and not at all obvious fbi agent who was tailing her after her release

what kind of sixth sense do american have to recognize fbi agents that easily

to paraphrase her, its always the shoes.

americans please explain to a foreigner, he looks like some random dude to me

1. They all have the same haircut, almost everybody in law enforcement and the military have the same haircut due to regulations.

2. They all wear the same shoes. Same boots, and same overpolished dress shoes.

3. They act different. Shifty eyed and always on their own.

4. They’re kinda really bad at their jobs. I’ve encountered plenty of “undercover” cops outside of bars that ask questions no regular person in their right mind would ever ask. “How are you getting home?” “Who did you come here with tonight?”

5. America is a police state on a budget. Most officers are poorly trained, fbi agents require a 4 year degree (I think), but lord knows how much training they actually get. And the dumb kids from your high school always become cops.

It’s always the dense as a brick kid, with something to prove that becomes a cop. The kid that mouth-breathed and couldn’t chew gum and walk at the same time.

Their shirts are never form fitting so they can conceal a weapon and cuffs.

Always look at the watch, it’ll be expensive but in neutral tones (uniform standards strike again).

They will always sit where they can see their target and the nearest exit.

They will have a partner who is less obvious but wil point a recording device (phone or camera) at you. Check elevated positions, it gives them the clearest view to track you and keep an eye on their partner at the same time.

One time when i lived in phoenix, I was driving home through residential streets from Panda Express on April 20th and there was a 40something year old white man standing quite literally in the MIDDLE of the fucking road wearing a brand new straight from the store weed jersey (jersey #420 with a big pot leaf), a wornout old raiders hat, regular-fit straight leg jeans, and cop shoes. This man proceeded to try to wave me down to stop since I was driving slowly (again, residential neighborhood) and as he did so fully yelled “You buying bro? You buying? 420 bro 420 you buying?”

I almost choked laughing so hard. I couldn’t stop myself from just yelling “NO THANK YOU OFFICER” as i drove by him.

for the past 60 years law enforcement, military, and even literal espionage/intelligence based organizations have assumed that rigid conformity to dress code was more important then actually training how to go undercover, blend in, or understand what the fuck theyre doing

largely because the ‘we are infallible’ mindset is too strong for them to consider they might not be doing very good

shoutout to the two “undercover cops” who were at my school to monitor the student body for a week, acting like “substitute assistants” and literally all of the kids immediately recognised them as cops and everyone would address them only as “officer” which annoyed the hell out of them because “we aren’t cops” like sir you literally have your badge in your back pocket and a taser what fucking substitute assistant would have an actual police badge and a whole ass taser??

Just a casual reminder that this is what secret police are. Like, this is the literal definition. Police who are (badly or otherwise) pretending to not be police.

(via sleepylace)

kryptic-krab:

eenymeangreengirl:

tami-taylors-hair:

hottiewitabloggie:

riseofthedruids:

ssundiall:

diet-soap:

ssundiall:

hey remember how awhile back i mentioned that tiktok has a whole trend where people mix cleaning supplies well i redownloaded tiktok so im finally able to show you what i mean

I put my bare hands in this sink and get a chemical burn so bad it oozes and bubbles nonstop for days

i have GREAT news for you

potion of cough up blood

people are so fucking stupid oh my god

Cleaning TikTok: We’ve mixed the perfect cleaning solution! 

Everyone Else: You’ve created mustard gas is what you’ve done. Your lungs look like you’ve just returned from the Western Front. 

I did not realise this was necessary but you can kill yoyrself and anything else living in the house this way. You can literally make gases that will kill you, your roommates, your family and your lets. Chlorine gas was literally used as a weapon of war in WW1.

Don’t do this ever. For any joke. Not ever. Never mix bleach with ammonia, and not with an alcohol cleaner. These two are especially dangerous. Windex contains ammonia. Hand sanitizer often contains alcohol. Lysol contains bleach as well as many other cleaners. You probably have all 3 of these in the house, that mistake is easy to make. Do not do this. Do not, do not do this.

^^^^^^

dont fuck around with chemicals, even seemingly safe ones. dont.

(via tittyshack)

dankmemeuniversity:

(via thatsthat24)

saku0taku:

Broke: Corporate Twitter Memes

Woke: Spark Notes/Education Based Twitter Memes

(via soundslikeyouneedetchasmoved)

guerrillatech:

(via tittyshack)

babyanimalgifs:

The magical moment he realizes the hand belongs to friend not foe

(Source)

(via maggins)